The Power of Hugs

Sometimes we don’t miss something until it is gone. This usually just means that it was something automatic or out of your direct attention until you felt its loss. In this case, I am talking about the power of physical contact in maintaining connections with others. The tactile act of a kind and warm touch lowers one’s blood pressure and releases the “love hormone,” oxytocin. This is the same hormone that mothers produce during labor and delivery (because you need help feeling the love after all that) and during nursing. The benefit of physical touch goes both ways, those that give hugs for example, also have a similar physiological reaction. So, if touching is also a key factor to a lasting relationship, how do we work around that now when physical contact may be impacted by COVID restrictions? Above, please see some illustrations on how you may more safely hug someone while not sharing their “air space.” Consider this for lonely grandparents and close family that may be missing you and your children. Don’t forget your mask (its for them, so do it!).

At home, don’t miss the opportunity for a pat, brief back rub, squeeze, hug, or peck on the cheek. The language of love is much louder when making physical contact. Social distancing from others has meant quite a bit of social closeness with my nuclear family. That’s a good thing. As a mom of only boys and with a boy dog, I can feel outnumbered at times, but I feel like there has been some benefit to being “forced” to be at the house and together. That said, my teenager is maddening for portions of most days. It would be easy to take it personally and withdraw. That’s actually my gut reaction when my feelings get hurt; to run away. In this case, my getting frustrated or angry and withdrawing my attention and affection is likely to “prove” his point that I am _________ (fill in the description on your own; I don’t actually want to know what word my 13 year old would use here). Instead of my instinct to 1) yell 2) storm off and 3) hold a grudge, I try very, very hard to 1) take a breath 2) apologize (because I am likely to have yelled) and 3) to make some sort of positive physical contact. Sometimes I get the “limp noodle” hug back or the “statue” stiff response, but I hope that my insistence on showing my love, even when my words may have conveyed a different message, will help us stay and to be connected. Sigh, a girl can dream.

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