Reverse Psychology to Boost Kid Activity Levels

Hello brain people! I hope that you are nearing or have completed your school year and feel accomplished at all you have done. Transitioning your children to a distance or virtual classroom is tough and you should be proud. This may mean that you are ready to step back and get lazy for a while. That’s fine, but don’t fall into the trap of constant screen time all summer. Its not good for growing (or even already grown) brains. There are massive benefits to consistent physical activity. Kids not only need movement to keep their bodies fit and strong, but they also get the added benefits of anxiety reduction, better sleep, sensory input to center their systems, and the release of endorphins to balance mood. So, as we breeze into summer, start thinking about how to keep your kids disconnected for long enough to get the recommended 60 minutes or more per day of movement. A recent study out of Finland suggested some ways to tap into your child’s motivation to get moving. Not surprisingly, there are also indications from this research on how you can kill the motivation to be more active for your child as well.

Often times, parents will contrast screen time with physical activity. Screen time bad, activity good. There is often a discussion or mandate that pushes kids to shut down screen time in order to be active. The funny thing is, this is the absolute WORST way to get kids moving. The process of shutting down something fun (screen time) and inserting another activity (in this case physical activity) actually makes physical activity instantly unfun. This is kind of the same as instructing them to eat their spinach or brush their teeth. As soon as you make it a mandate, you breed resistance. This reaction to your directive to shut down fun and do something physical is in contrast with a simple human principle. Thorndike’s Law of Effect suggests that “all animals seek pleasurable satisfaction and avoid painful discomfort.” Your discontinuation of fun screen time turns the activity you are suggesting (go ride your bike!) into one that is painful, or at least undesirable because it is not as fun. This stance is more likely to backfire on you than to work.

The general recommendation is to use moderation in screen time, to set limits for your children and yourself, and to schedule time for physical activity that is not linked to screen time. Think of this as an activity appointment. The process of being physical should not have to directly impact screen time. In reality, if your child is willingly engaging in more physical play, then they are reducing their screen time naturally because the time you have each day for all activities is limited. So, you are getting what you want when you insert pleasurable physical activities, since less screen time is the result. Be smart and don’t point that out to your kids. That’s the reverse psychology part. Talking to your children (or lecturing) about their need for more physical activity is more likely to make them avoid such actions than it is to foster those actions. So, stop talking and start doing.

There are several major ways that you can successfully motivate your children to be more active. First, promote freedom of movement. Don’t tell them what they need to do for physical activity, just set the scene for such activity. This means tailoring physical activity to your child’s interests. I have two boys. One would rather see how fast he can ride his bike and the other would rather shoot baskets or shoot his bow and arrow. Do I care which it is? NO! They are outside and moving and they come in out of breath with flushed cheeks. Raised heartrate, check. The most effective steps that you can take to foster movement in your children is to encourage hobbies that require them to be active. Whether this means making sure their bike is in good working order, that you have a safe space to shoot arrows into a target, have a swing set that is awesome, or allow some time each day for supervised swimming, all you really need to do is make it possible. The final recommendation is to get active WITH your child. After more than 2 months of staying indoors, your running shoes might be dusty, tailbone might scream when you hop on your bike, and your hook shot may be terrible. The children in this Finnish study cited the highest motivation for physical activity was being able to have an activity with their parent. Guilt trip included, sorry. Ultimately, this study indicated that the successful way to foster physical activity in your children is to be less coercive (go do something now!) while simultaneously increasing child-centered options that are in line with your child’s preferences and personality. So, when your kids come up with a game of House Ball, where a series of balls is thrown on to the roof and then caught as they come down, grit your teeth, try to block out the thought that this will surely damage your new gutters, and smile because you have secretly won the battle for activity. Well, at least for today.

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