Anxiety comes in multiple forms, from stress that emerges before a big presentation or audition to rigidity when playing with friends so that a child can only comfortably play “their way” without dissolving into tears or heading off into a tantrum. The “worry monster” that is anxiety is an issue that shows up in a lot of different varieties when working with kids. Anxiety as a condition is highly likely to pass from one generation to the next. There is a genetic part, where the chemical process in your brain that manages anxiety levels is “off” from one generation to the next. This makes the brain both more attuned to anxiety and more vulnerable to it. The other half of the story is that parents who are anxious often use anxious parenting strategies, which unintentionally increase the risk of anxiety in a child. This serves as a nature+nurture double whammy. This blog is intended to offer some guidance to parents of anxious kids regarding both parent resources and kid bibliotherapy (self-help) books that can be helpful in discussing and supporting anxiety symptoms.
Parent anxiety is common when kid anxiety is present. This is usually systemic, with multiple generations and members of the immediate family struggling with their own version of the “what if” worry machine that runs through their heads. This tends to build within family members and adult anxiety transmits to kid anxiety over time. This then creates a vicious cycle, with family members all serving to “feed” the worry monster over time. The best way to battle this monster within families is to work on resiliency strategies at an adult level and a kid level. This can be done with the guidance of a therapist or counselor. This can also be done through more self-guided options like websites to offer parent and kid support and skill development.
Website options for parents:
WorryWiseKids.org | For Parents
Child Anxiety Tales – Welcome (copingcatparents.com)
Additional resources to support parents from a parent technique standpoint can also be helpful. Most anxious parents are not aware of how their parenting moves may be creating more opportunites for stress and worry in their children. Some simple adjustments to their parent moves can make a big difference.
There are also multiple kid-focused options for reading. These often give more kid-friendly words to begin to discuss the feelings that come with fear and stress and to also begin to build coping strategies. We can’t avoid stress or prevent our children from experiencing anxiety-provoking situations. In fact, one of the strongest ways to help a child deal with anxiety is by helping them face and reframe anxiety (not rune from it, bury it, or be afraid of it), while also building resilience and positive and active coping techniques. Avoiding anxiety doesn’t make it go away. Facing anxiety with confidence and a toolbox filled with ways to manage is the way to go.
