
Every child is different, but some are more different than others. Those are my kind of kids. At Kids BRAIN, we work with what are called “neuroatypical” or “neurodivergent” children. I find each one is a unique puzzle. My job is to figure their brains out so that I can help parents and teachers have the perspective needed to be the best supporter they can be for THIS child. Sometimes people don’t fit into the molds that the world tries to cram us into. Those kids that break the mold are what keep my life, and frankly our world, interesting. One of the struggles in my role as a guide to families with highly variable children is to help them find their place. I personally believe that some children will go out into the world and seamlessly blend into the existing “cubby holes” that exist in the mainstream: doctor, lawyer, architect, construction worker, chef, small business owner, dog trainer, something where a place exists that they can go.
Others will not and they will have families and professionals charged with their care who strive to CREATE a niche for them. This means harnessing the areas that they excel in, which is where things get tricky. Unfortunately, not all talents are recognized or respected. Some areas of expertise are so far from mainstream that it is harder to project a way that this can be leveraged into a career and livelihood. In these cases, others may try to shift their child (or someone else’s child) toward areas of interest that are more “acceptable.” This would allow them to fit in better, remove some of the obstacles that stand in front on them, and streamline their ability to step into the same trajectory as many others. This is one way to handle it.
Maybe the more radical approach is to recognize that those narrow interests allow for a level of inquiry, passion, and internal motivation that is difficult, if not impossible, to duplicate. I know lots of people who would give up quite a bit to be able to do what they love for work, not what pays the bills. I am lucky to have created a company that allows me to do what I am passionate about. My husband works in a field that fully defines him and best encompasses his many strengths. I hope we model to our children that it is much more important to find a place where you can thrive while exploring your interests than to only pursue the bottom line of a multiple figure paying job. If you can do both, bonus! With my patients, I often gently suggest that their atypical interest in vacuum cleaners, ceiling fans, electrical engineering, mall architecture, hydrofoils, vintage video game systems, cars, fish ecosystems, or collecting specific items that may seem useless to others is not something that should be stifled. Instead, maybe it can be something that allows a child to grow, develop, and engage in their world in a way that builds success through this interest. Maybe it morphs into something more typical, like an interest in ceiling fans that transforms into a love of the aerospace industry. Maybe it doesn’t and they grow into an adult with an endless knowledge of Nintendo products. I am certain that there is a museum, collectors shop, or video game company out there that would jump at the chance to employ that person. I loved the essay below by Paul Graham. This covers an interest in collecting bus tickets, but you could easily insert any of the more obscure interests out there. I enjoy his point about genius and see glimmers of that in each patient I work with. If you are a parent, family member, spouse, or educator of one of these atypical persons, count yourself lucky. They make you think, push the boundaries of expectation, and embody what true passion looks like. I wish I could bottle it.
http://paulgraham.com/genius.html