Have you ever seen a funny video where a toddler is holding a cup with something in it (ice cubes, snacks, toys, etc.) and they are trying to pick items up and add them to the cup, only to find that they keep losing more than they get to stay inside? I was thinking about multitasking today and this image popped into my head. When we think about a child’s ability to manage multiple things, we invariably think about all of the items that have been dropped, knocked over, and spilled. As they get older, kids are able to manage more items, with more success. Their cognitive abilities are much the same. They grow, build on previously mastered skills, and become a little more “adult” every day. No one is particularly good at multitasking (seriously, the brain doesn’t work well that way), but children are particularly poor at this. Just like trying to carry too many items, their developing brains can old “hold” so many verbal items (directions) before they become a jumbled pile on the floor. Consider a rule of thumb when giving your kids directions; one step for each item they can successfully hold and carry while walking across the room. For little ones, give them something easily broken or spilled, and they carry it with both hands, eyes locked on it, and maybe with a little bit of a sticking out tongue. This may mean that one step is as much as their toddler and preschooler brains can handle (“Hand me your shoes please.”). For older kids, they can carry something in each hand, but add more and the whole thing starts to fall apart. So, two steps for them (“Please go to your room and put these shoes in your closet.”). For middle school kids, they may be able to balance an object under their chin while they hold two items in their hands and arms, so you might be able to offer three steps (“After you finish your dinner, please rinse your plate and put it in the dishwasher.”). For your high schoolers, they have the dexterity to carefully manage a plate of food, their drink, a napkin, and their phone. Ok, maybe four steps (“After soccer practice, you are going to need to finish your math worksheet before we leave for dinner at 7:00 pm.”-that’s four parts-after soccer, math, dinner, 7:00 pm). One day, they may be able to balance a whole tray of dishes up and down their arms like the finest diner waitress. But for today, keep it “carryable” for them so that they can meet your needs and you can set realistic expectations and be pleased with the results. Win-win!
Say What You Need Because They Are Only Catching Parts of Your Message
This morning, I drifted into my teenager’s room, gently